{"id":20350,"date":"2026-01-16T22:29:18","date_gmt":"2026-01-16T20:29:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wedodis.co.za\/news\/?p=20350"},"modified":"2026-01-16T22:29:18","modified_gmt":"2026-01-16T20:29:18","slug":"nicole-nyaba-reflects-on-overcoming-childhood-trauma-and-mental-health-challenges","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wedodis.co.za\/news\/nicole-nyaba-reflects-on-overcoming-childhood-trauma-and-mental-health-challenges\/","title":{"rendered":"Nicole Nyaba Reflects on Overcoming Childhood Trauma and Mental Health Challenges"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"Nicole<\/p>\n
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Nicole Nyaba<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Nicole Nyaba, a model and the former partner of the late rapper Kiernan \u201cAKA\u201d Forbes, has opened up about her experiences with a tumultuous upbringing, lingering family issues, and her ongoing struggles with mental health.<\/p>\n

Nyaba’s life began in Durban under challenging circumstances, which she describes as filled with uncertainty.<\/p>\n


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\u201cMy biological mother didn\u2019t have an ID at the time, and my father was living in another township. I was born in town by luck,\u201d she recounts.<\/p>\n

Despite being a South African citizen and bearing her father\u2019s surname, Nyaba grew up shuttling between the Ndlovu and Nyaba families, given that her parents were not married.<\/p>\n

Living between two families, she says, never allowed her to feel stable or secure.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m a member of both families, but I never felt like I truly belonged anywhere. I took my father\u2019s surname because he did have a hand in my upbringing. But that didn\u2019t mean life was stable.\u201d<\/p>\n

Having spent her formative years primarily in Clermont and Umlazi, Nyaba reflects on a childhood characterized by fear and emotional suppression.<\/p>\n

\u201cI grew up curious but very afraid. I was always scared of getting myself into trouble, even as a child at home,\u201d she remembers. As time passed, she began to recognize that many of her formative experiences were not typical. \u201cThere are things that happened to me that I\u2019m only now realising were not okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

This absence of safety, she explains, persisted into her school years and beyond, influencing how she learned and connected with others.<\/p>\n

\u201cLearning was always a challenge for me. Not because I wasn\u2019t capable, but because I lacked something fundamental, that sense of safety and grounding,\u201d she asserts.<\/p>\n

\u201cI felt like I was missing what connects you to life and to other people.\u201d<\/p>\n

Within her extended family, Nyaba often felt that her pain was minimized or disregarded.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn the Ndlovu family, it was just me and my mother. In the Nyaba family, people went on with life as long as what happened to me didn\u2019t affect them,\u201d she notes, adding that she was made to feel as if being left behind was a common occurrence.<\/p>\n

A particularly painful memory for her is the loss of her uncle, Nkosinathi Emmanuel Ndlovu, whose death was reported as a suicide.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat loss left too many unanswered questions,\u201d she reflects. \u201cIt affected more than just one person; it affected the entire family.\u201d<\/p>\n

As 2024 progressed, Nyaba\u2019s mental and emotional health deteriorated significantly.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been trying to hold myself together since November 2024, because that\u2019s when everything got worse,\u201d she explains. \u201cI feel weak at times. I live in fear \u2013 fear of my death, fear of what comes after, and fear of being attacked emotionally and mentally.\u201d<\/p>\n

She attributes her struggles to years of emotional neglect that left her vulnerable.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy mistakes were used against me, even though I didn\u2019t fully understand what was happening to me at the time,\u201d she says. \u201cI wasn\u2019t guarded or protected enough. And some of the harm came from people I trusted, family, friends, and communities.\u201d<\/p>\n

In December, Nyaba made her distress public through a heartfelt post on social media, describing years of \u201csuffering in silence.\u201d<\/p>\n

In her message, she indicated that she had created a new account due to feeling limited in her ability to communicate and sought assistance from women\u2019s organizations, expressing that she felt unsafe and isolated.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease try not to look at my past and listen to me now,\u201d she wrote, expressing a feeling of urgency by stating that she felt she was \u201crunning out of time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nyaba observed that the reactions from others underscored a lack of understanding of her true circumstances.<\/p>\n

\u201cPeople see fragments of me and think they know my entire story,\u201d she explains. \u201cThey don\u2019t see the years of confusion, fear, and unanswered questions that shaped my reactions and decisions.\u201d<\/p>\n

Although her association with a well-known personality fueled public scrutiny, she emphasizes that her difficulties began long before she gained fame.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis didn\u2019t start with celebrity or relationships. This started in childhood, in the home, in the silence, in the things that were never addressed,\u201d she clarifies.<\/p>\n

Now, as she starts to share her story, Nyaba states that her aim is survival rather than seeking sympathy.<\/p>\n

\u201cStaying silent nearly destroyed me,\u201d she acknowledges. \u201cBut I\u2019m trying to pick myself up where I can.\u201d<\/p>\n

She describes her healing journey as slow and uncertain. \u201cHealing is not linear. Some days I feel strong; other days I feel like I\u2019m starting from nothing again,\u201d she remarks.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I\u2019m trying to be honest with myself for the first time.\u201d<\/p>\n

As she continues on her path to recovery, Nyaba expresses a simple wish: peace and understanding.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just want peace and the chance to live without fear,\u201d she shares. \u201cI knew life in South Africa wasn\u2019t easy. I just never knew how much harder it could get.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n