On May 31, the third episode of the Not Sorry podcast, entitled “Our Parents Broke Us,” was released. In this heartfelt and candid conversation, the hosts shared their familial experiences.
The podcast features a lineup of four charismatic and talented young women: Seemah Mangolwane, Nomthandazo Nkosi, Rei Nkuna, and Munaka Muthambi.
THE GIRLIES OPEN UP ABOUT THEIR MOTHERS
The hosts discussed their upbringing, placing a particular emphasis on their relationships with their mothers. They shared anecdotes about feeling overlooked, being punished with a hosepipe, receiving derogatory names like “straatmate,” and experiencing feelings of abandonment after a mother entered a new marriage.
Listeners labeled this episode as the most relatable and impactful yet, commending the hosts for their openness and vulnerability.
1. SEEMAH: ‘I WISH MY MOM LISTENED TO ME MORE’
Seemah, who once hosted Spreading Humours, expressed her difficulties with expressing herself, as her mother did not consistently promote open communication.
She also observed a troubling pattern between her mother and grandmother, marked by unkind exchanges, which she fears is affecting her own relationship with her mother. Nonetheless, she is resolute about changing this cycle.
“I wish my mom listened to me more. I also feel like she has an impact on me, not being able to articulate myself,” she began.
“My mom didn’t allow me to speak. When I go to my granny’s place, I see how they speak to each other there,” she noted.
“And I understand why you are (her mother) like this. But now you’re making me that person. And I don’t want to be that person,” she stated.
2. NOMTHANDAZO: ‘THERE’S A LEVEL OF CONTROL’
The forthright Nomthandazo shared insights about her mother, now in her forties, expressing a desire to experience life through her, as she became a mother at a young age.
“There is a level of wanting to live through your kids. There is a level of control that she doesn’t want to let go of,” she articulated.
“This is where I am now, and parents are not comfortable with you not apologising because they want you to apologise that they’re hurt, and as if you’re not going to do it again,” she elaborated.
3. REI: ‘MY PARENTS DON’T CELEBRATE ME AT ALL’
Rei extensively elaborated on her relationship with her mother, highlighting how her mother is seldom pleased with her accomplishments, even referring to her as a straatmate at certain times.
“My parents don’t celebrate me at all. They don’t say things like I’m proud of you, you did good,” she remarked.
“It took me so many years to love myself because with my mom, you could never do enough with her,” she continued.
4. MUNAKA: ‘THEY DID NOT DISCUSS HOW TO RAISE A CHILD’
Finally, Munaka shared her perspective on her mother-daughter journey, discussing how her mother faced challenges in raising her after remarrying post-divorce.
“I would rather stay divorced for the rest of my life than to bring another man to raise my kids. Because I feel like they did not discuss how to raise a child, and sometimes growing up, I felt like she chose him (stepfather) because she was trying to balance that dynamic of, I really want to have a husband, but I also want to be a mom,” she reflected.
